Getting out of an abusive relationship can be hard and even dangerous.  None of the resources listed here replace the help of a qualified psychotherapist.  Most mental health providers do not advertise help with RTS (Religious Trauma Syndrome, yes its a thing), however any solid therapist is trained to recognize abuse and trauma.  Find one that feels comfortable, even if you have to look around.


Spiritual Abuse: stories and resources

Warning Signs:  Am I in a cult?/Am I a cult leader?

Journey Free:  Online RTS support group

Recovering From Religion This website has a wealth of resources, including a Hotline and Live Chat, when you need to talk to someone who understands RIGHT NOW.

ExChristian:  Forum for reading stories from survivors and online chat.  Best feature:  write and submit your own story!  The regular members will give positive feedback, emotional support and invaluable advice.  Trolls, be warned:  they will have you for lunch.

Divorcing Religion: Janice Selbie offers online personal therapy, workshops and a Religious Trauma conference in 2020.

Sex Positivity Resources:

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski

Sex At Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha

Savage Lovecast by Dan Savage (podcast-Savage also has several great books)

Erika Lust: Lust is a female pornographer who specializes in real body positive porn.

Make Love Not Porn:  porn by regular folks



Leaving the Fold by Dr. Marlene Winell Ph.D.

Trusting Doubt by Dr. Valerie Tarico Ph.D.

The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers


The Uncomfortable Confessions Of a Preacher’s Kid by Ronna Russell

Cut Me Loose: Sin and Salvation After my Ultra-Orthodox Girlhood by Leah Vincent

Priestdaddy: A Memoir by Patricia Lockwood

Holy Ghost Girl by Donna Johnson,

Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres,

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

Joy Unspeakable by Joy Hopper

Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions by Susan Tive and Cami Ostman, 

anything by Tom Robbins, especially Skinny Legs and All and Half Asleep in Frogs Pajamas



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